It's a couple days before Christmas and I have to admit that this year doesn't feel as much like Christmas as it has in the past. I am not home today. I'm at work. I currently don't have the vacation available to be home before Christmas. So not being there is kind of squashing my Christmas spirit. Christmas has always been defined for me as time with family. And it's just not the same this year. The time that I do get to spend with them this year will be minimal. And in addition to me working today (Yuck!), I'm planning my wedding, which has superseded almost everything else in my life. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm loving planning my wedding. I mean, I've been waiting to do this my whole life! But, I'm not loving how most everything else is going on the backburner, at least things that are important to me are going on the backburner.
So today, I'm sitting at my desk and at the point of tears. And I don't think I'm the only one out there in this spot. There are plenty of other people around the world and even in the city of Charleston that are crying on this day, for many different reasons. And my reasons for crying probably can't even come close to their reasons, for mine are trivial in the whole scheme of things. But nevertheless, today is one of tears. Of not being able to make everyone happy (I'm a people-pleaser), of being over-stressed, of lack of sleep, of being out of a job in a few weeks, etc. I'm sure that tomorrow will be better and maybe this afternoon will be better. And tomorrow I will think this is silly and will probably want to delete it from my blog. But right now, here it is.
Right now I wish I lived in Columbia, SC where there is located the closest Cinnabon in SC and I could get one that is covered in caramel and pecans and I could lay on my couch and eat that cinnamon roll while I watch "It's A Wonderful Life" and I could cry at the end because I'm so happy, while at the same time finally letting go of the tears that have been wanting to come out all day. I could then fall asleep on my couch because I was full and happy and relaxed and sleep through the night. And then tomorrow I would wake up and start over, but with a different outlook on the day, while feeling guilty for the huge cinnamon roll I ate the day before. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment